


I Love You

by kairaki



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety, Hopeful Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 20:24:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8859751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kairaki/pseuds/kairaki
Summary: Viktor struggles with facing his future and Yuuri's words. Post Episode 11: "Let's end this."





	

The truth of the matter was that Yuuri really didn't need him. Viktor understood this from the moment he had been introduced to all the people in Yuuri’s life. Yuuri could succeed whether he had Viktor by his side or not. (Viktor is absolutely certain that Yuuri would have clawed his way back up without his help. Yuuri was stubborn like that). 

But Viktor is selfish. He has always been selfish. He clung to Yuuri like a lifeline, hoping… wishing that Yuuri would anchor him. Yuuri gave him far more than what Viktor offered in return. And the fear that Yuuri would realize the imbalance in their relationship and leave him haunted Viktor. 

Viktor had redefined himself in terms of Yuuri. Yuuri had introduced him to feelings and emotions Viktor had never experienced before. Viktor desperately wanted to show Yuuri how much he meant to him… to thank Yuuri for giving him a new meaning to life. But despite his age, Viktor is inexperienced when it comes to interpersonal relationships. He doesn’t know how to show Yuuri just how much he loved him. 

“Let's end this.” Yuuri's voice is firm. 

Viktor feels his stomach drop. Wasn't this conversation happening too soon? What was he supposed to say in reply? Viktor isn’t ready--he hadn’t prepared himself. He had thought he still had a few more months to figure everything out.

“I'm going to retire after this.” Yuuri continues. “I've been thinking about this and I think it's the best choice. So, after… “ Yuuri clenches his fists in his lap and forces himself to meet Viktor's gaze. “Please seriously think about what you want to do.”

“Yuuri… “ Viktor still doesn't know what to say.

“Thank you for everything you've done, Viktor.” Yuuri says his name gently, “But I've made my decision. I will retire after the finals no matter what.”

Viktor can see uncertainty in Yuuri’s demeanor, but it is outweighed by the determination that shines brightly in his eyes. They sparkle with confidence. Yuuri is always surprising him. He is always one step ahead of him. Yuuri is always thinking about him, putting him first when all Viktor wants is to show Yuuri that he is just as important--no, even more important.

Even now Yuuri is being considerate of him. He's willing to let Viktor go if Viktor wishes to go. He's willing to keep Viktor by his side if Viktor is willing to stay. What ever his answer, Viktor knows that Yuuri will respect it. Yuuri is so much braver than him.

This time it's Viktor who bursts into tears. They come suddenly, without warning. Yuuri doesn't panic like he did back in China. He just reaches out and takes Viktor's hand in his. Welcoming. Warm. Viktor doesn’t know why he’s crying. His feelings are jumbled, overflowing. He just wants Yuuri to tell him to stay. To tell him to never leave. To hold him down and never let go. 

But Yuuri loves him too much to do that. Yuuri wants him to be free. And Yuuri would never put his needs above Viktor’s. 

Viktor loves him for that, but he hates it as well. No one has ever given Viktor a choice before. All his life he had been told what to do. What to accomplish. All his life he had answered to the audience’s expectations of him. Yuuri had no such expectations for him now and Viktor didn’t know what to do. Would Yuuri rather him stay? Would Yuuri rather him go? Did Yuuri want him to compete again? To find someone else to coach? Did he want Viktor to push him out of retiring? Did he want Viktor to just accept it?

Yuuri lifts his right hand and kisses the golden band around Viktor’s finger. “Tomorrow, I’ll show the world my love.” He says, voice warm. “I’m going to shower, but please take your time to think about it. You don’t have to answer me now.” Yuuri kisses his ring again before letting go. Yuuri doesn’t look at him when he gets up from the bed and gathers his things before heading to the bathroom. 

Viktor wipes the tears from his face and changes out of his bathrobe. He hears the water run as he crawls into his bed and buries his head in the pillows. Viktor doesn’t remember falling asleep, but when he opens his eyes, the room his dark and he can hear Yuuri’s soft breathing in the bed next to him. 

“Yuuri?” He calls out, half hoping that Yuuri doesn’t answer but Yuuri does; he hums in response. “Let’s sleep together?” He asks, voice hopeful. 

Viktor sees Yuuri’s silhouette shift and makes out Yuuri’s arms opening to welcome him. Viktor slips in next to him, heart pounding. Yuuri sighs when Viktor nestles up against his chest and quickly falls back asleep. Viktor wraps his arms around Yuuri’s waist and listens to the comforting beating of Yuuri’s heart. He buries himself into Yuuri’s side. He breathes in Yuuri’s scent, takes in Yuuri’s warmth. He feels Yuuri’s arm tighten around him and hears the slight whisper of his name.

Viktor doesn’t want to give this up. He doesn’t want to leave Yuuri. Now that he is no longer a competitor, he’s not sure what he wants to do but he does know that, at the very least, he wants to explore this new part of his life with Yuuri. There’s a lot of uncertainty in his future and Viktor hates that but if Yuuri is willing to help him then he’ll do his best to find his passion off the ice.

Viktor tilts his head to look at Yuuri who is sleeping peacefully. “Yuuri?” He whispers the name. Yuuri stirs slightly. 

“Hmm?” He answers. 

“I love you.” Viktor declares, voice quivering. 

“I love you too.” Yuuri replies sleepily as the arm trapped under Viktor’s neck bends up so he can stroke the silvery strands of Viktor’s hair. 

“I don’t know what I want to do.” Viktor confides. 

“Me neither.”

“I do know that I want to stay by your side.” Viktor props himself up onto his forearms so he can properly look at Yuuri. “I don’t want to leave you.” He confesses. 

Yuuri opens his eyes to meet Viktor’s gaze. “Me neither.” He repeats. He raises the hand that had been resting on Viktor’s waist to cup Viktor’s face. Viktor nuzzles it, tilting his head to the side to kiss Yuuri’s palm as he does so. 

“After the final, let’s talk more about what we want.” Viktor says, planting another kiss on Yuuri’s palm. 

Yuuri murmurs his agreement, sleep already tugging him back. Viktor leans down to gently capture Yuuri’s lips with his own. “I love you.” He declares again. 

“I love you.” Yuuri answers in return.

Viktor rests his head over Yuuri’s heart and lets himself drown in feeling of happiness and security he finds in Yuuri’s embrace. He doesn’t know how their relationship will change after Yuuri’s free skate performance, but Viktor decides that this time, he won’t run away. He’ll face his fear and uncertainty about the future head on. He’ll prove to himself and the world that he’s worthy of Yuuri’s love.


End file.
